I’m disguised as a couch.
Often when unwanted guests pop in, I make use of my unique talent.
With a simple wiggle of my wiggling finger I can transform into household furniture and appliances. I must stress that they have to be in the confines of my house. I tried it in a retail store once and let’s just say that it didn’t go to plan. Unless you call having a 14 stone woman sitting on your face a plan.
Another unique talent I possess is that I can change the colour of my type just by imagining a colour in my complex mind. I can also magically turn type into BOLD without holding down the bold key. I like to call it the ‘boldy key’ because I’m a raving lunatic. I wish I had the restraint to call it the ‘bold’ key like everyone else.
You’ll also be excited to read that I can underline words just with a simple tug of my left ear. I can’t deny that too much underlining becomes rather unpleasant. Well I can deny it, but I’m certain you’ll be able to see right through me. Did I tell you that this is actually another one of my talents? I’m see-through.
I’m now going to attempt to write the rest of this blog with invisible letters. Let me know how it goes.
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